How are you doing?

Okay am I the only one that NEVER knows how to answer that question?!

“How have you been feeling?”
Ha ha HAAAA!!!! Well…… The first place my brain goes to is an honest place, but since having Crohn’s disease….eeeeeehhhhhh. Maybe not the best idea! It’s considered uncouth to talk about poop in polite conversation. But a lot of my world revolves around the toilet, it is just a fact. Just yesterday my husband said “Did you see the gifts I left for you? I restocked the toilet paper and got more hand soap!” I of course responded with “Omg you know how to talk sexy to me!” Ha ha ha! {Sad but true–It did make my day that I didn’t have to worry about doing those chores myself. I’m sure you can relate!} There is also the intense emotional challenges that come with having a chronic illness that would just be awkward as hell to bring up in conversation, am I right? “Well ya know, I’ve been feeling like a waste of human space lately because I can barely move much less go to work.” Super buzzkill right?!? Who wants to hear that? But hey they asked! Yeah…I don’t know if that flies, ha ha ha! This is probably why I have never understood polite conversation. Polite and truth don’t always mix. But why ask if you don’t honestly want to know how the person is doing? And polite convo usually happens in passing at the grocery store or whatnot. Not exactly the place to get into your life story I suppose, ha ha ha!

Now–In all seriousness, how are we supposed to respond?  I feel like to truthfully answer that question “How are you doing?”, it would be a very long complicated answer every single time! For me, it’s never just a simple “Oh I’m doing great!” Oh honey, my life is just not that straightforward! Ha ha ha! I will never pretend that my life is perfect because that does no one any favors. However, what usually ends up coming out of my mouth is “I’m doing okay.” Or my most recent favorite “Well, I’m still alive!!” It is true and It is just easier than explaining how much life sucks that day! And I find it keeps me sane if I keep my sense of humor especially when it’s a bad day. And I think if they heard how I was really doing… they would run in terror! LOL, funny because it’s true!

I recently went to a convention where the speaker told us that we should always respond with “Unbelievable!!!” or “Amazing!!” when someone asks us how we are doing. Their reasoning was because it’s positive and it is refreshing to hear such an enthusiastic response. I see where they are coming from, but I disagree! To me what is refreshing, is honesty! When I ask someone how they are doing, I genuinely want to know what is going on with them. Just saying I’m amazing, whether I mean it or not, seems disingenuous or just fake. You aren’t going to make any connections with people by doing that and it’s just not how I roll.

Being raised in the South, I do have polite conversation drilled into me, so it is hard to part from that. However, every time some one asks me that dreaded question–I still freeze for a little not knowing how to answer! To be polite or to be truthful?? What to do! Ha ha ha!

How would you respond to the question– “How have you been feeling?”
 I want to hear your witty replies! The funnier the better!

Published by Jana Rosenberger

I blog about my life with Crohn's disease and all things quality-of-life. I don't sugar coat this journey but I do find a way to laugh!

2 thoughts on “How are you doing?

  1. That is another way to look at it! I don't honestly believe that if I talk about facts of what I'm going through, that will make my journey continue in the same pattern. I believe that is mostly out of my hands. But I totally get the reasoning behind motivational speakers. I just think there is another way to be true to yourself, spread awareness, and get the support you need by sharing! You can still have a positive outlook and talk truthfully about the not so pleasant aspects of a life with chronic illness. And I LOVE Tracy's response too! Good one! Because I too feel blessed despite all the struggles!


  2. Ok – since I raised you, I get it that you prefer honesty. But, so many motivational/success “experts” out there say that what your mouth produces, your mind manifests. In other words, what you put out there as a belief will continuously cycle the same. If negative is it, then negative it shall be. I like what our good friend Tracy Williams always says when I ask how he is — “I'm blessed.” And, truly, with all the positives we have going on, there are many blessings we can count, so, while the teeter totter of life may have you on the bottom end temporarily, there's an upswing that is in the works.


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