When Your Brain Decides to Shutdown

The things I have to deal with!

As I’m writing this–it’s 3:30pm and I’m beyond exhausted. A normal person would be excited to get off work soon and go home to do whatever they want. I’m curled up on my couch feeling like I can’t even move or keep my eyes open. How is laundry going to get done? The dishes? How can I take a shower? Or even just move myself to the bed, so I can rest! All of those tasks require energy that I just don’t have within me. I don’t have the spoons guys!!!
{Jana what are you talking about? Spoons?! Click this here link, it explains everything.}

I woke up today at 9:30am to my neighbors dog barking straight for over 30 minutes. I wanted to yell at the dog to shut up, or yell at the neighbor for just letting it go on that long. But instead I just accepted that I needed to get up! So I started my day feeling like I hadn’t even slept! Even though I went to bed around 11pm.

So now at 3:30, I can barely compose a sentence in person. I mix my words up, just can’t seem to get the correct words out, or I physically can’t think to actually have the words come out of my mouth. I can’t focus or concentrate. My husband just called me on his way home from work, as he usually does. But I had to keep asking him “what!?” or “what’s going on?” “Are you coming home?” And poor guy, he just gave up and said “Omg you are too tired! I can’t talk to you right now.” And he was right. I was trying so hard to listen and hear what my husband was saying, but I just couldn’t. No matter how hard I tried.

It’s as though my mind is literally shutting down or putting itself into “low power mode”.

It is really frustrating because you know you have all these things that need to get done, but boy is it hard to get anything done, when you can’t focus! My brain is basically saying “Nope, not allowed. We don’t have enough power for that.” But it still needs to get done! Power or not! What am I supposed to do brain!? The world does not stop moving for us, simply because you don’t have enough power!! Suck it up, brain! Lol

There is no good answer for the question–“What am I supposed to do?” You essentially have to ask yourself, do I want to push through this and pay for it later? Or do I want to rest up and feel a little more human tomorrow? Maybe then I can accomplish some things! Either way, there isn’t going to be a fix! It will happen again tomorrow, just a matter of when!

Would diet make a difference? No, I have to watch what I eat so I don’t trigger a flare. And I have actually taken to eating healthier and counting my calories. Doesn’t make a difference to my brain. I am also on prenatal vitamins as well as a number of other vitamins and minerals to make sure that my levels are normal. As sometimes anemia (which I’ve had in the past) can cause you to feel fatigued or tired. If you aren’t getting enough nutrients that can happen! But I’m getting an abundance and my labs look good! So…I don’t know! I have tried some other natural supplements to increase my energy, and I’ve had no luck. There’s just no real answer here. Nothing I’ve seen so far has fixed this issue with fatigue and brain shutdown. This is something I face daily and just have to deal with. Even my husband and my mother have clearly figured this out about me. They have both had to get off the phone with me because I couldn’t get my brain to concentrate enough to actually think and have a conversation.

I will certainly let you know if in the future I find something that helps with this, but I’m not holding my breath. There is a reason why this disease has no cure. If food or meds or supplements could fix this disease…then that’d be a cure wouldn’t it? Sometimes these things can take away a symptom, but they don’t fix the underlying problem. Which is not the same thing as a cure. I think a lot of people have a different idea of what the word “cure” means.

KP dog illustrates how I feel. Although I don’t look nearly as cute as her! ❤

Do you ever experience this level of fatigue where your brain goes into “low power mode” and just doesn’t want to function? Please share your experiences, I’d love to hear them!

This story was published on The Mighty.

Published by Jana Rosenberger

I blog about my life with Crohn's disease and all things quality-of-life. I don't sugar coat this journey but I do find a way to laugh!

7 thoughts on “When Your Brain Decides to Shutdown

  1. I don't have Crohn's, but I have fibromyalgia and I totally understand/relate/have-brain-shut-downs-too! It's because of the brain shut-downs that I'm unable to work. Okay, and the fatigue, too, because if you can't get out of bed, you can't really get to the office. But I love how you explain it and I'm totally sharing!


  2. Good to know it's not just me! I totally understand where you are at. It was hard for me to go back to work after my surgery last year. I was scared for that reason as well. And here I am starting a new venture looking for new work! Sounds like we are in the same boat! Wishing you the best!


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