When you don't feel well, you can't ever be at your BEST. At least this is my experience living with Crohn's disease. When I physically don't feel well, I notice I tend to care less about how I appear on the outside. How I feel on the inside gets my full attention because I have limited physical energy and effort to put into other things. So I choose to focus my efforts on what I think is most important. And in my brain, that will always be trying to heal my insides, both body and mind.
It occurred to me recently that a lot of the issues I have coping with this disease may stem from the fact that I am a perfectionist. My Crohn's disease and my inner perfectionist are constantly butting heads in multiple ways. In this blog post I want to cover the different aspects of being a perfectionist and how that has created coping problems for me personally. Identifying the problem is a huge step in solving it. So I'm hoping by sharing my struggle, that someone else might have an Aha! moment like I did and begin coping a little easier. So let's get into it...
It's as if I need to retreat into my cave, until I feel like a human again. Because why should I face another human being when I feel like the living embodiment of suffering? Who wants to be around that? It's too much work to put up a facade, like everything is okay. Because obviously it's not! I don't have the energy to be "on" when my body is going through hell.
Part of living a life with Crohn's disease is being so often misunderstood. And more importantly figuring out a way to be okay with that. There will be judgement from others along the way. Obviously we can't control what people think about us and how we live our lives. Not everyone you come in contact... Continue Reading →
I can tell you I have been forced to take a closer look at myself and how I live my life. I've learned to really listen to my body and become more mindful of how my life choices effect it. But some experiences need to occur for us to truly get the message loud and clear about our body's limitations, so you know to be careful in the future!
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Think to yourself "what if all these little moments in my life were magnified and took three times as long to accomplish". Then you might have an idea of what I'm talking about. It becomes a logistical nightmare, dealing with the trickle-down bits and pieces while waging war on the disease itself! But we do it.